Sunday, May 19, 2013

Not Guilty

NOT GUILTY- Mandisa
******************
I stand accused
There's a list a mile long
Of all my sins
Of everything that I've done wrong
I'm so ashamed

There's nowhere left for me to hide
This is the day
I must answer for my life
My fate is in the Judge's hands
But then He turns to me and says

I know you, I love you
I gave My life to save you
Love paid the price for mercy
My verdict not guilty

How can it be?
I can't begin to comprehend
What kind of grace
Would take the place for all my sin?

I stand in awe
Now that I have been set free
And the tears well up
As I look at that cross
'Cause it should have been me

My fate was in the nail scarred hands
He stretched them out for me
And said

I know you, I love you
I gave My life to save you
Love paid the price for mercy
My verdict not guilty

I'm falling on my knees to thank You
With everything I am I'll praise you
So grateful for the words I heard
You say

I know you, I love you
I gave My life
I know you, I love you
I gave My life just to save you
Love paid the price for mercy
My verdict not guilty

Love paid the price for mercy
My verdict not guilty, not guilty
 
*************
 
This song.  Wow.  The past 72 hours have been nothing short of God singing this song over me.  The battle isn't done, but the way God has been in the midst of it fighting ferociously for me, I don't doubt that He is going to win.   I even told Him yesterday that I simply don't get it right now.  I don't understand His love right now.  It's hard to feel an incredible amount right now.  I don't know why life is the way it is.  In moments yesterday, I even doubted His love.  But, He simply kept on loving me.  He walked acres with me and just listened to me talk.  I was angry, confused and I told Him so.  He kept listening.  I told Him of my selfish prayers and that some days I didn't want Him to change my will for His.  I told Him that I couldn't feel His love, that at times I felt like He wasn't there.  I told Him that there were moments when I simply wanted to give up.  And still He listened.  I sang to His songs to Him, tears streaming, begging Him to see me, forgetting that He was standing right beside me.  I admitted that my spirit was willing, but my flesh was extremely weak.  I told Him of the spirit of fear, self-preservation, and manipulation that wanted to rise up.  I told of my rights and dreams that I wanted to hold onto.  Yet, I couldn't help but also tell Him of the longing to be obedient.  I acknowledged His gifts that keep pouring into my life: how He gave me angels in human form, how He gave me song after song, how He gave me rain for two days, how He had warriors praying all over the country for me, even a small robin that I got to hold yesterday, the dirt beneath my bare feet, driving an amazing car, connecting with a dear friend, amazingly green grass, breakfast with my dad, lunch and God-filled talk with my mom, and grace, such amazing grace.  I told Him all these things, and I felt Him walking with me.  And, I was amazed how later in the evening, He poured more into my life.  A courage to continue.  A grace-filled strength.  Oh, and then as icing, He sent a sister to give me a beautiful picture.  I am going to write her words here.  He knew just how to gift me today.

Her words for me:
"A picture I keep on getting is you dancing in front of Jesus in a pure, white wedding dress.  Your eyes are sparkling.  Jesus is so in awe of your beauty and in such delight He can't keep His eyes off you!  He is looking at you so adoringly and is so pleased with the daughter He has created.  It's a sweet picture I see.
I also see troublesome waters.  Chopping, rough, ugly waves.  And an undercurrent that wants to take you out to sea.  In the midst of it all, I see a finger; and it's larger than life.  It's powerful.  And you have your hand wrapped around it so tightly.  It is the finger of God.  It is guiding you out of these waters!"  I would wish such sisters and brothers in Christ for everyone.  May it be so someday.

I. AM. REDEEMED.
I don't know the outcome of the battle, but I sing grace already because He is good.  And this is the song I sing.

Hello, my name is child of the one true King
I’ve been saved, I’ve been changed, and I have been set free
“Amazing Grace” is the song I sing.
 
 

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