Monday, November 24, 2014

Fix My Eyes on You



I sit, my heart in knots. 
It came in the form of a "you're beautiful" moment.
I grin to myself, as I feel slightly not myself; and I know where to go. 
Then, I pull back and whisper quietly, “why? Daddy, why?” 
I step back a moment, step back into the Arms of Grace. 
He shows me gently where I have grown.
 He cries the tears that I can’t, the ones that my numb heart won’t let out. 
How I long for that stream of freedom to run down my face. 
Tears. 
They have are a grace-filled, funny blessing.
 Healing, freeing.
 I think through all the chaos of the last few weeks, the changes up and coming, the not-knowing what will happen in each tomorrow, the learning to trust Him in the middle of the “I-don’t-knows.”
 In the middle of scorching turmoil, I sit and thank Him for a new, precious friend; a friend who inspired me by the number 7. 
Such grace, crazy how one is blessed in the most wonderful of odd ways.

 He just knows. 

My Daddy knows.
 I forget most days how He loves me.
 I forget that He sings over me.
 I forget that He knows my heart.
 I forget that He thinks I’m beautiful. 
I forget that He created me and loved me to life. 
So for today, I hold it close and treasure the grace. 
Tomorrow will take care of itself, because He’s in control.

So, my eyes, remain fixed on Him.
Water-walker, I shall become.

Thursday, November 13, 2014

Never Lose Your Wonder

Today, I took a lesson from a child.
To never lose my wonder.
We all do though, right?

As adults, we get jaded by the world, and we lose our sense of wonder. We lose wonder in God, of what He did for us. We lose the wonder of His created beauty surrounding us. We lose wonder in our relationships, friend or otherwise. We lose wonder in the little things that used to delight us as children.

Picture with me: I am sitting on a tile floor, watching with a smile as my little guy gazes in awe at the yellow strainer he holds. He turns it over, and slams it down on the floor. Picking it up again, he licks it, curious at its taste. He puts his face into the strainer, delighted that he can see through the small squares. Giggling, he throws it down again, crawling toward me. Climbing into my lap, he smiles at me and giggles some more. Such wonder, wonder of a strainer. And I had to think.

What would it be, what would it look like, if I had such wonder and delight toward my Savior?
Oh, that I would take such delight in tasting and seeing. To wonder at His creation all around me.
To ponder the colors and delight in His presence. To rest in grand arms of peace. To take time and delight in a friend, to treasure the friendship and heart of my mom. To hold closely the wisdom of my dad. To dance before my heavenly Father.

To never lose the wonder.

Saturday, November 1, 2014

What Are You Waiting For?

What are you waiting for?
Are you waiting for it to all fall into place?
 Are you waiting for enough?
Are you waiting until your kids are older?
Are you waiting until you are out of school?
Are you waiting until you have it all together?
Until that perfect moment?

Not using texting language here, but you only live once.
You are here for a reason.
Do you have a dream? Or some desire or longing that you think is crazy?

Now hear me out. Before I say this next part, I am NOT suggesting that you go out from under God's authority or the authority that He has placed over you. But, what I am saying is, if you have a dream, don't be afraid to step out in faith and see if God will open doors for you to live your dream.

In Him, you, yes you, are capable. You are capable of literally climbing a mountain (if that is your dream, I promise you, it isn't mine). You are capable of starting that business that you have pondered deep in your heart (I have seen it done!). You are capable of reaching out to that neighbor woman you see so deeply broken. You are capable of doing ministry in another country (if God calls you, go; don't wait until tomorrow or the day that everything fits perfectly, just go; He's the Master of Puzzle; He'll put it all together for you). You are capable of being a single mom, to a precious adopted child, working and all (this for my latest superhero human). You are capable of making time to take a class so you know how better to speak to youth. You are capable of writing that book (don't think you're crazy, it's on my list too). You are capable of being free from addiction (alcohol, drug, sex, and those addictions people don't want to admit are addictions: food, sports, shopping, and the biggest one, ourselves). And most importantly, you are capable of not giving up on this life. In Jesus, you are capable of every single thing mentioned and more.

So what are your dreams?
Is freedom on your heart?

That perfect moment will never come.
Trust me. It won't.


"Everybody's gonna make mistakes
But everybody's got a choice to make
Everybody needs a leap of faith
When are you taking yours?"

-Nickelback*

So what are you waiting for?
Carpe' diem.

*As a rule, I would not normally post from their music. But, I randomly heard this song one day. Loved the point of what they are saying and it fit here with this post. So bear with me some small measure of grace.