This Advent it felt like I was failing a lot more than I did last year. I feel like I haven't retained most of what I've read, I feel as if I haven't done all the things I should. But, maybe it's not being perfect in the Advent. Maybe it has nothing to with making sure I retain every little thing I read. Maybe it has to do with this amazing settled-ness that I have. The fact that for once, I'm not freaking out over not being perfect. That maybe, just maybe, keeping on simply trusting...
The need to strive for human perfection is an idol, and I am far from at rest when I'm striving to be perfect. I was made to worship just as I am, so why am I seeking to worship perfection which I can never hope to attain. I can be perfect, but it's only through Jesus who perfects me through Himself.
I look at the habits I have when I worship everything but God. It becomes idol worship. It becomes idle worship. Idol worship lays down in front of me, everything that I've done wrong or can't do right. It lays down my insecurities, my deepest fears, and taunts me. It shows me everything everyone else is doing wrong or how they fail. It begins to distract me from serving God, from showing His glory. It makes me idle, lazy toward God, because I'm striving to prove perfection wrong, that I'm good enough.
But for Jesus, His blood, and the cross. Through Him, there is strength to fight all the lies: fear, insecurities, imperfections, others faults. Through Him, we have grace for ourselves and for others. Through Him, we have love that shines bright.