I started this post several times, added a few things, took something else away yet nothing seemed right. I felt such a desire, an urge really to write, but nothing was coming to me no matter how hard I tried...so I simply asked what I should write...and call me crazy, maybe it's because of some of the conversations I've had with random people lately, but here goes...
To the beautiful whitish-haired woman who was in my group a while back, the one who thought she didn't fit in. You do, oh, so very much, you do! You sit now, silently waiting, that slow ache, deep in your heart, waiting with sadness, as you watch. Your Heavenly Daddy gave, and now it seems He may be calling your second dearest love away from you. May we all stand beside and around you, aching silently, gently with you. You matter, dear one...so very much.
To the woman at rest who questions her at-restedness, oh, your struggles, they're very real, but so is that inner peace that shines out. You've weathered great, you'll weather even greater. You questioned some very true things that day, but I saw His strength radiate from you. Hold on, this is part of the journey.
To that breathtakingly beautiful aching mama, you make me smile...so very much. Your heart seems to be quite an unending ocean of grace. I know it's not perfect; to be honest, I'm glad it's not. Your real heart and vulnerability, makes me ache with you. You're smile has years in it, years of everything that brings God glory...the pain, the joy... Whether it feels like it, it makes you blessed and highly favored. His ocean will not cause you to drown but to live.
To that precious young soul, a reminder of myself. Ah, if only you knew how beautiful you truly are. And those struggles with not feeling God? They so real in each of us from time to time, and that you are courageous because you could admit it. And those lies? That's all they are, is lies. Cling to the truths, choose to believe them even when you aren't quite sure. The light at the end of the tunnel will come. He will never leave you or forsake you; He promised that. But, it is your choice to pursue Him right back. Beautiful one, come learn about Him with me, sing about the things He gives you, count those gifts, dear one, He's giving them to you all the time.
To the God-taped together breathing woman, the breaking hurts, yes. Oh, but how He loves you. You wonder, almost devastated sometimes, if He is going to heal all your wounded babies and family...or if maybe He's forgotten about healing your own very tender heart. He hasn't forgotten. No, that sweet song you hear during the day? That's Him reminding you all the ways He hasn't forgotten you. It's at the foot of His cross is where you'll find Him...every day all you need is the tree. The one that was broken apart (dis-membered) so you could be put back together in your brokenness (re-membered)...Remembered...you see that? Remembered. Jesus hasn't forgotten you!
To the smiling real pj-clad woman who gladly welcomes my spontaneous notions, you are beautiful, no RADIANT. You say you're learning and you are. I see it in your eyes, your smile, your graciousness, and above all your heart. He, my Abba, has your heart. Oh, it almost brings tears gushing down my face. He's got your heart, so precious. And your frustrations...guess what...He's got those too.
To the woman playing so many roles, some days she might wonder where all she could actually go right...ahh, the smile lighting my face says you have gone right! So very right. A testimony simply by the faith I've seen and even more simply heard of that you have had. Yes, the pain brought, and still brings struggles, but you, oh, strong woman, you also know the face of our Savior. And He brought even more beauty to you...so rest..be still and know that He is God.
And finally, to my aching friend and sister, wondering, longing to know and feel the presence of God again. The teacher may be silent...keep persevering in this test of faith. "There's more to come: We continue to shout our praise even when we're hemmed in with troubles, because we know how troubles can develop passionate patience in us, and how that patience in turn forges the tempered steel of virtue, keeping us alert for whatever God will do next. In alert expectancy such as this, we're never left feeling shortchanged. Quite the contrary--we can't round up enough containers to hold everything God generously pours into our lives through the Holy Spirit!" (Romans 5:3-5 [the Message]). He hasn't forgotten you either, wait expectantly, seek passionately with all your heart, He'll show up for you.
To all of you and to me, dear sisters even brothers, anyone feeling forgotten, unwanted, oh how He loves each and every one of you.