A New Desperation

Desperation-why don’t we have more of it?  Lately, I’ve been reading some of the stories of the things Jesus did for people.  The one that sticks out to me the most right now is the story of the woman, who touched the hem of His garment.  In a book that I’m reading that has the story in it, the author spoke about the fact that in that day, she was considered completely unclean, basically an outcast.  She had spent much of her life with a condition that by law in that day made her ceremonially unclean.  What must she have thought when she heard that Jesus was coming?  She had tried everything possible to find healing, and with growing desperation, she probably thought He was her last and only hope.  As she pushed through the crowd, I wonder if Jesus kept thinking through each moment, knowing that she was getting closer.  Was love full through His mind as He waited, knowing?  When she touched His clothes, I can’t imagine what she felt or what washed over her.  All I know is that it was the most restoring thing in her life.  We are all like that woman.  Wrecked, and bleeding.  Wanting so much more, feeling a pull toward something.  There are days when it feels like faith is so small; we wonder if God is big enough.  Yet, I look at her faith, real and aching faith, and I see how she pushed toward Him.  A journey of bruises and dirty looks, maybe even people yelling at her, but she pushed toward someone greater.  Could it have been that if she didn’t have that great faith, that she might not have been able to touch Him?  If she had wavered and cared what others thought, would her faith have made her whole? If I'm like her, where is my desperation?  I need a new desperation.  A desperation that comes from need.  A need that comes from who I am as a Child.  A Child who comes from the epitome of grace.  Grace that came from One, One called Jesus.


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