Abba Unending

Tears flow freely as the new struggle begins.  Every waking breath taken means one more step toward freedom.  Moments of questioning fill days of learning trust; aching pain flows, yet the feeling of being carried abounds.  Grace flows new; desperation seeks more.  Longing breaks a heart once cold; prayers flow down a face seeking His.  Unending fears fight for courage to lose, to break down and fall.  Yet, for some reason He’s still there.  Still listening to her endless prayers to be heard, still listening as she cries angry, sings happy, pleads guilty.  Messy seems to be her life story; but redemption is His story for her.  How He sings over her, redeeming love, faithful love, unending love; but she whispers, tears streaming, “Oh, how can it be?  Why me?”  She fights to understand His love; fights to understand what He did for her.  Moments oppress; courage fights.  Fear tries to tear her down, but she finds herself begin to be willing to do the hard things.  Whatever it takes.  She’s done.  No more.  No more of this surviving and simply making it through.  No more going her own way.  No more letting go of His hand.  No more.  Now she’ll wait.  She’ll become His.  Because He sings, “You’re my beloved.  Love of my life, look deep in my eyes there you will find what you need.  I'm the giver of life.  I'll clothe you in white.  My immaculate bride you will be.  Oh, come running home to me.” 

O my Strength, I will sing praises to you, for you, O God, are my fortress, the God who shows me steadfast love.

                                                                    -Psalm 59:17