Skip to main content

I Saw God Today

I saw God today.  I saw Him in the hands that gently helped his dear wife climb in out and of the bed.  I saw it in the way he took care of her.  I was extravagantly blown away by their story and stories.  And I have so much more to hear.  God crazy how when there is sacrifice, blessing comes, how when you go to give, more often than not, you walk away being the one blessed.  So I sat, and listened.  I saw her tears as she told me of her emotion, her apologies for her tears.  I told her it’s ok.  Tears are meant to be poured out, how her sharing of herself made her, oh, so very real to me.  I saw her joy in her wisdom-filled eyes as she spoke life into me, experience flowing into wisdom words, grateful love as she told me about him.  It’s been nearly three years since she has been able to do much of anything.  Three years of pain, doctors, and unknowns.  And I watched him, like a chef, prepare her lunch with such care, each little detail important to him.  He tells me that he has few moments to go actually do work that needs to be done, she’s his life.  But not once did I hear either of them complain, all I heard was, “honey, darlin', & dimple dumplin'.”  I smile as I remember, sunlight streaming in her windows, him joking because it made her laugh.  He, her warrior, fighting back that depression for her.  And grace, how I saw it in his face.  And I saw God today.


Popular posts from this blog

One Year Down--An Eternity to Go

I can't believe it has been a whole year already. If someone would have told me two years ago that I would be married for a year now, I would have told them they were crazy. I had my plans; I was quite over sitting around and waiting. Deciding to utilize four years to the best of my ability, I was in the process of making plans to move. But. A wedding in Colorado changed those plans. I was in the bridal party; and during the reception, I noticed this groomsman across the table. (pretty sure he winked me at one point, even though he says he did not). I was impressed by his intelligence and ability to have good conversation, but I adamantly told myself that this was not in my plans. As people were leaving the reception, I had managed to get into another conversation with him. Until that night, I had never believed that you could have a moment with someone that connected you to someone the way we did that night. I left frustrated because he was not on my agenda, but I wondered if I …

Mommy Guilt/Shame and the Need for Grace

I nannied for roughly 10 years, but all of that barely prepares you for the first two months of your own child's life. It barely scratches the surface of what all you can face.

Motherhood felt like it truly started in the second half of the second trimester, when suddenly I started getting incredibly itchy. I eventually spoke with my doctor about it, only to find out that what was causing the itchiness put a slight risk on my baby being a stillborn. The proposed plan was induction no earlier than 37 weeks, yet not waiting too much longer than that. Thirty-seven and a half weeks came, and the little munchkin arrived. *Cue hormone overload.* And then. In my hormone induced stupor, I heard them say that he had a small heart murmur, and we would need to get it checked out. My ears heard "small" but my heart heard, "he's not going to make it to the end of his first month." In my mind, he was similar to the plants I struggle to keep alive. So began a batch of emo…