Where were you when I cried? Where were you when I broke? Where were you when darkness spoke so loudly that it drowned every ounce of light? Where were you when mountains fell on top of my soul? Where were you when I couldn’t go on anymore? Where were you when I couldn’t sing? Where were you when I couldn’t breathe? You were wiping my tears when I cried. You picked up the pieces as I broke, even though I didn’t know. You were the strength holding me tight in the darkness. You kept the mountains from crushing me completely. You carried me when I couldn’t go on. You sang over me when I couldn’t. You breathed everlasting life into my lungs when I couldn’t breathe for myself. You are I AM.
I see what You have done. I ask for more. I fail to recognize the glory of You, Daddy. I often forget those daily small gifts, forgetting completely to praise and thank You for those things. I keep asking for signs of Your love when it’s already surrounding me. I fail to praise You for those mountains that continually shine Your face and glory and help. Those skies full of blue, clouds drifting on Your very breath. Those drops of water that rain from the heavens, pounding praise onto the earth, praise for You. The trees bending and bowing to Your very will, fluid with grace and humility, rustling Your goodness. The songs of delight that the birds announce to You, their Maker. The grace of the horse running its adoration through meadows green.I lift these hands. My soul smiles at You, Jesus. Smiles with grateful and a small bit of understanding that this change is many, many moments. Not just one earth-shattering moment. But many earth-shattering, heart-breaking, grace-giving moments. And I breathe. Breathe in Your presence and love and a new song sings.