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          It's been a little while since I've posted, but as usual there are things to say.  (Imagine that).  I am no longer in the clothes department, but now have the vast privilege of working in the shoe department.  For those of you who know me well, you would think this would be right up my alley.  In essence, it is; yet the department not only consists of shoes but also purses, hats, scarves, ties, things like that.  I am started to enjoy it, but it definitely is stretching.  It's a challenge juggling two departments and giving them my all, but I feel like I am slowly getting the hang of it. 
          People keep asking me how my knee is doing; the best I can say is that I'm running and jumping.  I honestly have no idea where exactly that I am.  My therapist told me that I should be officially done in two months, give or take.  It's crazy trying to find the time to do therapy and life out here.  I am so ready to be finished though; I miss playing sports and doing things everyone else can do.  
          I've been thinking a lot lately about the things God uses to shape us.  Why is it that when we pray for Him to do work in our lives and He actually does what we ask, that we get upset?  We desperately want more, to know more, to be more; but we don't want to go through the fire to get those things.  Has this generation truly become so comfortable?  We have it so easy that it seems we've forgotten what truly happened for us.  We've forgotten that the road is narrow.  We've forgotten that following Jesus means sacrifice, giving our all, dying to self.  Why are we so afraid of brokenness?  I sit and I watch, and everyone just plays church now.  There is so many facades.  We've decided as long as we dress correctly, act correctly that we are good Christians.  WHY?  All the right things are preached, taught, "done;" yet it is dead.  Where is the life that I KNOW Jesus gives?  I am just as guilty as the next person, so why do we keep on?  Some people are going to read this, and agree with me, but not do a thing about it.  Life as we know it truly needs to change.  We need to stop saying that we're going to be the hands and feet of Jesus and actually BE.  If it means giving up more than a few dollars, if it means giving up my own car, if it means giving up my cell phone, if it means giving all my money, if it means giving all my time, if it means having nothing, for the sake of helping someone, being Jesus for someone, I want to be able to do that.  And when I say all the things that I just mentioned, I don't mean giving those things up just a little bit or figuratively, I'm dead serious.  I am not worthy as a human anyway, but folks, Jesus gave His everything so if I'm not willing to give away everything that He has blessed me with, then I am not worthy of the gift of salvation.  If I'm not willing to give or forgive, I am not worthy.  Once again, people will agree with me, but you won't change a thing.  My prayer is that I can be everything that I have just said, that even in my failures that I will strive to give whatever Jesus has given me to give up.  So I guess my question is...if this hits you, what are you going to do about it?



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